Which DIETLAND character are you? By Eladio Reyes, Daisy Chain editorial assistant You and your best gal pals visit the newest, hippest clothing boutique in town, but when you ask about “plus sizes,” the sales girl just laughs in your face. You:a) light a match and burn the place down.b) wait until the girl’s back is turned, then swipe some lingerie. That’ll teach her!c) would never buy clothes at some dumb, trendy boutique. I prefer DIY and thrift store finds.d) cannot envision a world where I’d need a “plus size.” e) want to know who wrote this quiz and what they’re planning to do with the results.You have a busy schedule serving as captain of the volleyball team and working at Pinkberry after school, but even you need time to yourself! In your free time, you can be found:a) cracking skulls.b) writing in your journal, hanging out with friends, baking, mentoring, not putting up with any crap.c) writing and publishing passionate manifestos.d) free time? Excuse me, but as a shining beacon of light and hope to the teenage girls of America, I don’t have free time.e) plotting.What do you think of this symbol?a) It’s a call to arms. Luckily, I’m already armed.b) Can I get that on a t-shirt? With a pair of colorful tights to match?c) I, of course, recognize that as the symbol of the Women’s Liberation Movement.d) That grubby little hand needs a manicure.e) I cannot confirm or deny that I have seen this image.Who is your role model?a) No one. I break the mold. (And I do mean break.)b) My friends, who do amazing things and inspire me.c) It’s a toss up between Shulamith Firestone and Valerie Solanas.d) I’ve had the same role model since forever: Vivian Ward.e) That’s classified.Which hot guy in Dietland would you like to date?f) Peetag) GaleUh oh! Your bestie is super down. How do you help her?a) Leave her behind. It’s every woman for herself now.b) Go to a coffee house and chat about her problems over something sweet.c) Put her through a series of punishing tasks. Tough love always works best.d) I can help anyone solve any problem! I am known for giving great advice! Also, we could get facials.e) I am more interested in what my “friends” can do for me.What kind of vibe do you give off?a) Don’t eff with me. Don’t even think about it.b) Fat and fabulous.c) Fiery badass.d) Come sit by me, boys.e) Aloof paranoia.Zee gorgeous French exchange student sits right next to you in Art History! He radiates so much hotness you start to sweat. You:a) are beginning to think the person who wrote this quiz deserves a swift kick in the ass.b) don’t evaluate other people based on “hotness.” Next question.c) wrote the book on “hotness” as a social construct.d) will have that babe wrapped around my finger by lunchtime.e) reject this entire scenario as offensive and ridiculous.Mr. Lawrence, your Intro to Calculus teacher, makes a comment about your “sexy curves.” You:a) twist his arm until you hear the bone snap.b) report this sexual harassment to the principal right away.c) organize a march of students, call the media, demand before the cameras that he be fired immediately.d) go to the Daisy Chain website and ask the editor for advice.e) use this incident to blackmail him. Remind him, every day, in subtle ways, that his punishment will continue for the rest of his life.After an all-night Netflix binge, you and your cousin Maddie are soooo bored. All of a sudden, a mysterious email appears in your inbox. It urges you to fight the patriarchy. What a great idea! You:a) reload. (No, I’m not talking about a website.)b) read some books first. I want to be educated about the cause.c) will just keep doing what I already do every day.d) go to the mall, look for hot guys to help us, order smoothies.e) develop an elaborate plan, then go stealth.